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hey mate,
i really feel your pain as i’ve had and still have close people who have been on both ends of the spectrum. i would like to give reassurance that everything will be alright, as it is meant to be. you will get her back home but shouldn’t pursue in healing her unless she heals herself. otherwise you’ll fuck up your life in parallel with hers.
i had a case back in february where my g/f had a serious issue with alcohol consumption to the extent of neurosis. while i tried to help her out through it, as she obviously refused to oblige, i got myself down the drain too. without going into details, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
i know its hard to tell you not to kill yourself over it, but you gotta make sure you know the limits. choose your boundary, and when it’s too much, you must leave the person to it or throw her in the right direction…that’s my experience at least…
whatever might be the outcome, be strong!
a serious issue with alcohol consumption to the extent of neurosis.
feel your pain Splinter. I too,….. had GF that was that serious into drinking.
she was trying. I rememeber the most helpless feeling i’ve ever had was watching her go thru the drying out period. She couldn’t be held. couldn’t even drink other than eat a few chips of ice.
I helped her thru it and then had to leave because I knew I couldn’t go thru that again. I saw a beautiful woman reduced to looking like a skeleton and as i said… i never felt so helpless.
she seemed to go thru periods of abstaining …. followed by extreme drinking.
that was years ago. I hope she’s found a long time solution.
because I myself face trouble now …. i have to wait and see what the repercussions will be before I can send money. my family may end up needing it depending upon what happens to me.
I’d appreciate any prayers on both my behalf ….. and those others mentioned in this thread.
I’ll certainly throw a prayer your way bb1. Same with everyone mentioned in this thread.
Take care while all of us pray for the best.
First of all I would like to thank ALL the people that helped me out :rockband:
I was sent a total of 90.00 in help. Now if this doesn’t seem like a lot of money I just want to tell you that it was all the money in the world to me at the moment. With that said, I was able to get back a gook portion of the money I had to borrow to get back home (had to borrow from someone who couldn’t afford it in the first place,) I actually worked temp and paid it in full (with the help of the donations of course.) So this all really put me in a situation where I can once again handle it on my own.
I can say that I’m personally on my own now with this (thanks to the help,) and will be able to figure something out.
I know many of you stated in one way or another that it’s a “lost” cause to deal with, I understand your point completely. However, please understand that I have/had to try. It’s sometimes better to try and fail then not try at all.
Once again. … HUGE THANKS for all how helped (not just in monetary help, but input as well.)
Thanks So Much, It’s good to know that there’s still good people out in this world (because sometimes living in this world makes you question that a lot.)
Thank You,
Chriswell I was little late because I had to wait for a deposit to clear but sent what I could. should show up as saveondirtbikes.com
I wish you all the best.
It is a tough situation for her and yourself. I have been on her side of the situation, and everyone here is correct. They only way to help her, is to tell her you care, and you’ll be there for her whenever she decides to fight for herself.
One main thing i do agree with, with you is this. THe only way i was able to beat the monster on my back , was to get away from the people who would supply it to me. I had to move totally away, far away and never go back. Its much easier to beat an addiction, when your not around other addicts.
She does need to get out, get her out of there if you can, but once you have her safely away, find her a halfway house or shelter, and walk away, she has to do the rest herself.
Good Luck and your a good friend.
pat
Pokercs whatever you are short i will send you ,just send moneyrequest to my paypal [email protected] (remove x)and ill send the amount.I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around and when you give soembody in need you get it back 10 fold .
I just thought since we are being open about all our sharing experiences I will share mine.I have a brother i love dearly who has a drinking problem and a gambling problem .My brother had a very successful career and although he always drank from time he was probably 17 i think we all assume if somebody has a nice home ,full time job , good family life it is not a problem.
I am reading this trying to skip though all the details because just to write them brings up so much pain.He went from having over $100,000 cash in his bank acct to running up $80,000 in credit card debt in less than 1 year after his wife left him.I dont blame her because as much as i love my brother I could never handle him drinking all day .Four years ago he almost lost his home , my parents had to give him $140,000 to clean his act up.They paid every bill off paid off his second mortgage and left him in a situation where all he had to do was make a $700.00 payment to them , they didnt even charge him interest.
Well july 20th my brother sold his house because in 4 years that my parents bailed him out , he had about $50,000 more in gambling debts.It is so easy to go to the caisno use a credit card or a cash card and money stops being money , it has no value.
Before my parents bailed him out ,he really hit bottom , he stole my husband’s and my ID and got credit in our name.We were faced with a choice pay the bill or have my own brother charged .That is where my parents stepped in and came to his rescue . When my parents did all this , I told them they should make him go to rehab for his addictions and definitely they needed to have title to his house or i knew he would refinance sooner than later.
They didnt listen to me , paid all these bills and end result was same anyway.Right now my brother has no home , no car and less than $6000.00 to his name.I am 40 years old and he is 48 years old and he is like my child.My mother covers for him ,tells me all the time not to tell my dad that he ran up 50k in debt since they cleared all his bills for him.We just got back from 3 week vacation that my parents were suppose to come on.My mom said they couldnt afford it ‘in case’ Gerry owed more than they were aware of.I use to feel sorry for those who had addictions but now i am feeling more anger and I think it makes you harder and stronger to not fall for the bullshit that you will surely go through with her.sometimes people only need a helping hand up and I am always willing to give that to anyone but trust me after having 15 plus years experience ,it is worst when there is a enabler around .I know if my parents had made a tough deciision 4 years ago our life and my brothers will be better.as long as mom and dad sucker in ,he will never change.Awful at their stage of their life to deal with this too .Anyway said my piece for now!
J
PokerCS, I’m sending some. I hope you get up soon.
The stories in this thread are really sad. I will not forget them.
Hello again,
I remembered something. Seeing that our total donations aren’t much, why not doing some work for hire projects? I think you will make much more in little time.
For example writing articles, getting backlinks. I think you can do it!I can also point you to other markets, outside the gambling industry, where you can make some extra money. They work for me, so with some effort you can make it too. Just PM me.
PokerCS
Well, my plan is just to get up there and get her a bus ticket back home. When I found her she was at a street corner with a sign begging for money to get back home.
Well sugar, bless your heart.
Darlin I am an Addiciton Specialist, not only by schooling and having worked in the field, but because I have a son with an addiction. I am afraid I have to agree with a lot of the other people who have posted. Enabling almost never helps, in fact, it perpetuates the disease.I know this will be hard to hear, but sometimes we have to hear it this way. If your girlfriend, really wanted to get home and get sober/clean…she would have by now. If she is an addict…she is getting her drug somehow…right? Even if it is not through actual US $$. Whatever way it is, if she wanted to get clean…she could use the same means to get her bus ticket home.
They have to want to get clean as bad as they wanted the drug…bottom line. They would do ANYTHING to get the drug and they have to be willing to do ANYTHING to get clean. I would be willing to bet that, that sign begging for money (which knowing people…I am sure she got) would/will never go for a bus ticket home.I will also give you this little tip…If she is using…she is lying …doesn’t matter about what…it is part of the disease. A very wise Pastor I know…told me that.
I can tell you, I have moved my son across the country to get him away from the places and people but the demons came with him. I have pushed him into many recovery programs, which he left inside of 2 weeks. I am not and NEVER would say give up on someone. ( I never will, for my son…my only son…and the love of my life) If she comes to you and wants help…be there for her. It has to be on your terms ALWAYS though, not hers. You will know…if she really wants help, when she is willing to give up her ways and try doing it someone elses way. Then I personally would reccommend a Spiritual Treatment Program. In my experience these programs are the most successful, but it is true…some things work for some and not others. It should be something SHE FINDS, SHE CHOOSES and does all the work it takes to get in. This is for 2 reasons, when she is successful, it is something she can TOTALLY take credit for…and if she is not…YOU WILL BE TO BLAME…(ie:you picked the wrong place) and this continues to perpetuate her sickness.
I will keep you both in my prayers and you can keep my son David, in yours. It helps sometimes to pray for someone else with the same problem.
God Bless you both!
Kitty
Hi K:
I am guilty of addiction. I am going thru counseling now.
I appreciate what you’ve said.
and will add your son to my prayers. please do same for me.
S.
@bb1webs 136145 wrote:
Hi K:
I am guilty of addiction. I am going thru counseling now.
I appreciate what you’ve said.
and will add your son to my prayers. please do same for me.
S.
I have really been out of the business professionally for awhile…but reading these posts, reminds me why it will always be my heart and passion. I will pray for you darlin. I will!
katsmeownvista said :It has to be on your terms ALWAYS though, not hers.”
this is so true , when my parents bailed my brother out , i told them then they needed to make him going to rehab a condition .Instead they left him owning a $200,000 house with a $60,000 mortgage and ZERO debt.Of course banks will loan him money in that condition. July 20 was the closing date of his house and when we seen all the debt it was like deja vu all over again.
No amount of willing them to get cured will help ,they need to do it for themselves.And Steve , I am proud of you , i really have enjoyed talking to you on the phone .You are a good person with a kind heart .
I hope my small contribution helped out and Thanks for your kind words
I have a brother going through the exact same thing as casinobonusguy and I literally wiped out my bank accounts in the past few years to help him until I finally said “enough” about 2 weeks ago and he has now been alcohol free for 12 days. Still early days , but so far so good ……Please PM your Moneybookers email if you have one(I don’t use paypal or eco).
