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BB,
Your are such a class act. You tell your wife she is one lucky woman!!
Every word you said is true. The people here, are not just here to learn about making money, or finding new ways of making money. Its starts that way, but it ends as a family.
I come here first every morning, just to see whats up. And to hear what the people i respect and trust have to say and think.
that is why i wanted to share my news with everyone here.
I would love to have a thread here, just for that purpose….Good News that has nothing to do with work!
Just a little spot for familys and friends to share and make others smile, cry with happiness, and feel good about themselves and the world, which is hard to do on your own, nowadays.
Love ya all, and BB…keep up the teary eyed stuff, its good for the soul.
trip
Pat, I am so happy for you. Nice to hear when good things happen to good people. :inlove:
Marcia
Pat,
Forgive me for not responding to this sooner. I’ve been real down. Have been wallowing in my own self pitty. On Aug. 31st was 2 years since I lost my Mom. and a few months later her Mom, my Grandma. I had gotten intouch with my Dad (who left when I was 1 year old. Last saw him 25 years ago.) after Mom & Gram passed and that didn’t go so good. In short, Mom and Gram were all I had left.
Shame on me for wallowing in my own self pitty and not acknowledging your FANTASTIC news. I couldn’t be happier for you.
I actually think my point in telling you about my wallowing and my Dad is, I think I was looking to my Dad who I hadn’t seen in over 25 years, to replace the love and affection I had from my Mom and Gram who had passed. different circumstance but, the man hadn’t given me any love, affection or even acknowledgement for over 25 years. ( I had tried all my life to talk to him) How could I expect him to suddenly give it?
When I was younger, he had always wanted a son. Shame on me, being born female. 27 years ago, he had a son and his son is his life. Perhaps as the years went on and I contacted him 2 years ago, he had grown also and accepted and seemed to want his daughter, me.
In short, I think we both are guilty of going into overkill trying to get the relationship we both “thought” we should have. Too much, too soon:( We haven’t talked since last year and probably never will, again.
My point in telling you this personal info is so that you don’t make the same mistake. Yes, you have been separated for what may seem like forever and you want the bond you have dreamed of. Take it from me, it doesn’t happen overnight. Some may argue that life is short. Yes, it is but not all that short that we can take our time to get to know eachother. Even though we may be blood, does not automatically make us know one another. And we should not expect it to be that way. Although, that’s not how my Father thinks as he was with the Yankees and was frustrated as hell that I don’t know nor care a dam thing about baseball. (Prolly because he was involved in it.lol) We are all individuals and should respect eachother as such. Blood or not.
Please accept my apologies and I wash you, your daughter and family a lifetime of happiness.
S~
More,
I have known you for about 2 years or more, and let me say this, You are one of the nicest people i have met on the web. Your fathers loss. So people are ment to be parents and some aren’t. It is not you, its him. I probably does not know how to relate to women or girls, and that is from his upbringing. he has no idea what he has missed out on. A daughters love is wonderful, and special , especially with a dad, and you may have missed out on this with him, but i am positive that all that love was given to your mother instead. I know you had a beautiful relationship with her, and that is enough to fill any void you have from him. Losing both of your familys foundation so close together had to be horrible, but your mom and her mom must of been very close, and be at peace to know that they are together still!
I wish there was something i could say that would take away the pain that your fathers absence has given you, and the one thing i can think of is this.
It may be a blessing for you that he was not involved in your life. There would of been more disappointment and pain given you from a man who expected things that are not attainable. He sounds very selfish and i bet his son will growup to be a disappointment to him. Because he will be his own man, not a carbon copy of himself, which is what he wants.
Be happy you are who you are, a beautiful caring loving woman who had a wonderful relationship with the people who matter the most, the ones who loved you for who you are, and loved you unconditionally. The best love of all.
You are rich with love and a big heart, and if you want a sister, i am can fit that bill!!..lol…poor you! loll
Thank you for writing, and i am always just an email or phone call away, we can start are own special relationship, i also had a bad relationship with my father, sometimes i wish i never had one. so we have plenty to talk about.
love
patif you want a sister, i am can fit that bill!!..lol…
YIKES!lol
Pat,
The point in my post was to try to give you advise to take it slow. Generous in heart as you are, turned it around to comfort me. Shame on you BUT…know your efforts were not lost. You made me cry (which is not easy for me) a good happy healthy cry. For that, I thank you.
As I do not have your email nor phone #, on my way to your pm to give you mine. Would love to hear from you.
S~
Hi More,
I couldn’t help but write.
I have a son … (my only biological child) .. whom has been very special to me.
I couldn’t be prouder of him.
but that said: boys tend to stray from family relationships … especially during their teen and young adult lives. In my case .. my son has so much going on with his school and girlfriend…. there just isn’t time. I understand that but it doesn’t make it any easier for me ….. not getting to see him.
I say this … because i also have 4 step-daughters. judging from relationship the two older ones have with their mother … *they live with boyfriends .. they’re still always here.
What I have gained from this … and knowing the relationship my mother had with her father … (they lived next door to each other always) ..
I suggest that it is your father that has sorely missed out on SO much. Especially judging from what you have written.
as Trips said .. there is little we can do to ease your pain. But you are obviously a loving, caring person and I think it likely your void will be filled at some point in your life … by a mate ….. perhaps Trips? And I also offer my friendship and am willing to talk anytime. just PM me …we can exchange numbers.
I just can’t imagine you’re not going to find a relationship that will help fill this void .. which although may never be completely able … will still be sufficient to help you thru the hard times.
I think you have already found caring people here. Reach out. Give it a chance. Again …. I wish I could ease your pain. I too … am somewhat estranged from my father. We just can’t seem to find common ground. I’m lucky that i know he loves me in his own way. And vice-versa. But we just can’t seem to find the kind of relationship i’d prefer. Frankly I’ve sort of given up and accepted what it there.
but its a shame. So I understand to an extent your pain. I don’t know your age but i think some of the problem … or at least blame things … on the era when my father (perhaps yours too) .. were raised.
They just never learned how to reach out. Don’t let that be your ….. mistake too. No .. we’re none of us here blood. but there are many caring people at CAP and other forums that you could explore.
I hope I have not offended nor given bad advice. I can only share my experiences and hope maybe some of what I said.. helps.
I know the hurt. I feel the frustration because I know my time with my father is very limited now. I’d so like to find common ground. To his credit … he tries in his own way .. but we are so different (he’s all about making money.. I’m about making enough money to live life and see my loved ones happy). there is a difference.
Well God bless … and remember he’s also your father. call on him. If you don’t believe …. then don’t worry. He believes in you. Just give a chance and talk to him. see if it doesn’t make a difference in a few weeks. I think you’ll find a serenity you never expected.
Group Hug!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS, HUGS, HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
God we are a bunch , aren’t we?
LOLLLLLLL
Come on everyone….get in on this…Lets give More4me and BB1 a Big Loving CAP Group HUG!!
I am proud to be a member here!
pat
Awww. Makin us blush:inlove:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS, HUGS, HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Back at ya, Sista:roflmao:
bb1,
Yikes, again! My apologies as I followed the link to trip’s reply in my email and just responded to her.
I do thank you and appreciate the time you took to reply to my message.
You are right in the fact that it is his loss as I’m a pretty dam good person to be around. Funny as hell, given the chance, too.lol
All my life whenever I did have contact with him it was, all about the ball club, where and who they were playing, etc. Unfortunately, he never did take the time to teach me about the game so, I never had a clue as to what he was talking about. To this day, I hate baseball and have absolutely no desire to learn anything about the game.
I had contacted him after my Mom passed. He called me every other night. In a way, I looked forward to those calls but….did NOT look forward to the same subject matter that I knew they would contain. Baseball this and your brother, that. I would try to cut in about another subject and usually got put on hold as he was usually watching a ballgame and there was something exciting happening. Not on my side.
Last I talked to him, he was on and on about my brother. His son. I was tired of having him shoved at me and blew up. Yea, I lost control and screamed to him that I was tired of constantly hearing about xxxx. We were in contact 25 years ago but, he pulled the same crap. Constantly talking about xxx. I would try to cut in about something about my life or…just life in general and it didn’t phase him. xx and baseball were all that mattered.
I was going to delete this as this post is not about me but about Pat finding her daughter. I decided not to delete that perhaps it may help another find perspective in their own situation.
Thanks for listening.
S~
Hi More,
I know about as much about bands as you do about baseball. i however tried to stay interested ….. all time thinking what waste he threw away pitching in baseball.
what I think is important is the confidence and support given. in each cases ….what is important is support. Maybe … gainst all odds .. they may succeed. in my case …. my son chose radioligist (not spelled right) …. but point is ….. he eventually saw the odds himself ……. and went to college … took a much more realistic approach …. but had to find that for himself.
I suspect same will happen for you. just support don’t crtitize …… though point out the odds. then say ….. “but I support you”. with any luck ….. your child will find a partner like mine ….. to make them see “the light” and take a more realistic approach.
my prayers are with you. *say a few for me. I can only say ….. support your children ….. no matter what. you never know. my son has 10 pages at my space about his band. he’s all but given up on it in trade for studies. I’m very proud. GF had much to do with that.
good luck. its a long …… hard. …… tough to find the right answers …… to do the right thing. hang in there. don’t give up. don’t be too hard. just supportive. I think in the end……… they find they’re own way.
