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Stephen most people we interact with offline follow the same progression.
When you first tell them what you do, even in a simplified form, they dont grasp or believe it. They are sure we are wasting our time and nothing will come of it. Even if they dont say it to you they talk amongst themselves about how crazy we are and how in a month or two we will go “back to work” (Like them)
After a while when they see we havent starved or lost our cars, homes or apartments they switch modes, then they want to jump on “the easy money gravy train” they believe we are riding.
Again they have no real idea what it is we do, but they are now sure its terribley simple and even a monkey could do it. They start asking us to “hook them up” so they “Dont have to work” either!! They look at you blankly and assume you can sum it all up in 15 minutes and if you dont you are just being greedy and not wanting to share the Golden Goose with them….
Yep, we all go thru this and there is no easy answer.
In my case I am 6 feet tall and weigh 350lbs. I have a terrible temper and a large gun collection, so luckily my family and “friends” don’t hijack my sites. If they did I would persue them with extreme prejuidice and they know this.
I am not sure what would work best for you to desuade these vultures from trying to steal your sites and secrets, but I would suggest a letter from an attorney as a great way to get their attention.
This was a very good question Stephen. I know we all go thru this so I am eager to see what others recommend too.
Quote:Again they have no real idea what it is we do, but they are now sure its terribley simple and even a monkey could do it. They start asking us to “hook them up” so they “Dont have to work” either!! They look at you blankly and assume you can sum it all up in 15 minutes and if you dont you are just being greedy and not wanting to share the Golden Goose with them….That’s so true, Professor. People that are not working on the Internet think everything is easy and setting up a website making money happens just like a miracle.
One day I got one of my friends asking me how much persons/visitors I was receiving each day on my websites, I answered with the right value (which I am a bit proud because of the thousands of hours of work needed), then he was surprised and said: “Only that? I was thinking that you can reach millions easily”. Yeah, great.
They think you put a website online, and just in the second day, thousands of people are visiting it.
Not to mention this very same question everyone asks: “but what the hell you do all the day with your websites?”… They simply don’t understand that you can work up to 10-12 hours per day for managing your business.
Wow that is a tough one.
But not terribly surprising in a sense.
I’ve run with some rough crowds at times in my past and I learned the hard way more than once.
Reading this reminds me of what one of those scoundrels had said to me (which I should have taken as a warning, rather than just him talking)
he told me how his father had once told him …
quote:
Its easiest to screw your friends and family because most times they won’t *come after you
unquote:
*(press charges with law authorities)
he ended up stealing my camcorder which back then was worth about $1200
it had been a gift from my father, which he was aware.
I imagine he got all of $150 for it.
Perhaps however they are unaware that they’ve done anything which will cause you ultimate harm.
By that I mean that the net is saturated with site designs and the info that lie within: which have been stolen from other sites, books or text which was written by someone else.
And I don’t think that it actually falls under the category of theft; since if its re-written with only the mildest of differences it then becomes what is called “research” rather than theft.
I mean there are only so many ways to say “CasinoX has 50 games, offers secure banking and has a bonus of $50”.
So at some point I think this sort of stuff becomes public domain though many people would argue that fact with me.
But it is what it is; and like I said; there are only so many ways to present facts; so with that in mind it maybe it helps your perspective;
but you should explain to them that by not making the minor adjustments necessary to at least appear uniquely assembled; that they are simply dooming the both of you; or I guess in your case the group of you…
so tell them that while you appreciate they weren’t intentionally doing anything to harm you; that if they don’t make some kind of better effort to look unique that they merely ensure your demise; rather than their success.
Originally posted by Professor
When you first tell them what you do, even in a simplified form, they dont grasp or believe it. They are sure we are wasting our time and nothing will come of it. Even if they dont say it to you they talk amongst themselves about how crazy we are and how in a month or two we will go “back to work” (Like them)I have always been an Entrepreneur…even in the days when I had a regular job, I always had something additional I was working on. (I’m not one who can spend my spare time watching the boob tube.)
My best friend was always like…”why do you get involved with all this shit?”
I never bothered to tell her how much additional money the “shit” was bringing in!
Now that I have been working for myself exclusively…in the comfort of my own home for the past couple of years…and it has become quite obvious that I am very successful…my friend seems to have taken on a whole different attitude.
YES…now she wants me to teach her everything I know (in 15 minutes or less, as the Professor said). Nevermind the fact that I have spent thousands of dollars on books, tapes, CD’s, seminars, etc., or that I have spent thousands of hours reading, scouring the Internet, studying and so forth to learn all that I have learned to become successful.
I went over to her house with a stack of all the materials I have accumulated and plopped it on her dining room table. I told her here is everything I have studied to get to where I am today. THIS is how you learn to do what I do! It is not something I can teach you in a day or a week or even a month!
Within 2 weeks she returned all the materials to me. The harsh reality is…most people are nothing more than dreamers! They actually think there is some kind of “easy money gravy train” as the Professor so aptly called it.
They have NO idea in the world how much work is required in working for yourself. Most people are not willing to put forth the kind of effort that is required to succeed.
Although your case is certainly not unique Stephen, it is unbelievable that so called “friends” and your own family would be so unethical as to openly and brazenly steal your work. My advice to you would be:
1) I don’t care if these idiots are your relatives…you need to make them aware that what they are doing is WRONG! Tell these people they cannot steal someone else’s website and call it their own work anymore than they can steal War and Peace and call it their own work.
Make it clear to them that if earning a living on the Internet is something they wish to pursue you will do whatever you can to assist…in the way of lending them whatever materials you may have collected and read or whatever…but that merely stealing someone else’s work and trying to capitalize on it is not the way to start a business…whether it may be online or off!
2) In the future…DO NOT tell them your business! If you get a new site, don’t tell them about it. Just let them think the money you are making is still from the original site you started. If you have 20 more sites it’s none of their business.
I know this is sometimes difficult to do as you tend to want to share your discoveries, your successes and your excitement…but to do so only insures your own ruination…just ask Steve Jobs !
That always drives me nuts! I’m so tired of hearing it. Just because I make it look easy doesn’t mean it is. 😎
This is my first post, just wanted to say Hi to all. I’ve been a long time lurker, looking forward to posting some more.
Originally posted by plus1
That always drives me nuts! I’m so tired of hearing it. Just because I make it look easy doesn’t mean it is. 😎Yes…why is it that people seem to think being self employed and working at home means you don’t really work that much?
I put in far more hours each week than any of my friends who has a traditional job.
The best part and the part that gives your friends the idea in the first place is that just about any time during our work day/week we can drop everything and do what ever we please.
Personally I have had both friends and family pester me to get them a site or show them how to do it. Out of my heart I gave into my sisters pleas and designed a general (non-gaming) site for her a few months ago – I even provided her with free hosting.
Since I am hosting it and she knows nothing about FTP – she sends me the files and I upload updates. She also has me doing new graphics every month.
I had told her no for years – then after a close family friend passed on I thought to myself – I need to help her out – you just never know.
Its not really that much extra work – but I will admit, IF it were I would probably buy her a book and tell her to get her own hosting.
If its nothing off your back and not much work – lend a helping hand to a family member or a friend. Just dont let them steal the shirt off your back – know when to say enough is enough.
Pressure isn’t the word for it! My wifes a school teacher, in an 8 hour a day job. I’m an IT consultant. I landed a job working from home, and the shit hit the fan. “You never work, all you do is sit by the pool and smoke cigarettes!” I don’t know what I will do when this business takes off. I guess I will have her retire and we can both sit by the pool and smoke cigarettes! or give her the check book and tell her to go shopping.
A year ago I announced to friends and family how I was going to make a good income by doing this casino affiliate business. I was met with polite smiles and “sure, that’s good, Janet… go for it….” I asked two people for a small investment to help kick the site off. Both declined! I launched the site barely more than a wing and a prayer.
What I hear mostly now is the soft thud of jaws dropping and it is music to my ears. I’m making more money than my ex husband (who had declined to invest ) – and he makes very good money!
When people ask for some help, or express an interest, I take them over to the computer, show them html code, SEO forums, SERP results, talk about ppc marketing, conversion rates and all that jazz and watch their eyes glaze over.
And here I am sitting, with this big, goofy shit-eating grin making this post.
Or when I tell people I run a marketing company, they always make this face like I’m just biding my time and didn’t hear about the dotcom meltdown. Then they see my car
I’m just so tired of people telling me ‘they want to work with me’ when they know squat about computers. ‘So you want me to do all the work and cut you a check? No problem!’
Originally posted by Fergie
A year ago I announced to friends and family how I was going to make a good income by doing this casino affiliate business. I was met with polite smiles and “sure, that’s good, Janet… go for it….” And here I am sitting, with this big, goofy shit-eating grin making this post. Fergie . . .
Oh, Yeah . . don’t you just love the little remarks, the one eyebrow that goes up and the condescending smiles?
Doesn’t it just about make you want to bake some eclairs and frost them with dog poop and serve them to these naysayers and dimwits? :woo-hoo: :rollover: :woo-hoo:
That’s OK . . I got even with all the skeptics . . I just bought a new 3600 square foot home with all the bells and whistles.
I had a house warming and invited all the “polite little people” who were rolling their eyes when they first learned I was earning a living on the Internet.
I hired 2 bartenders and had the event catered. I spent way more than I should have . . but just really had this overwhelming desire to rub their noses in it!
Now they all want to know how to get into the Internet Marketing profession.
I tell them . . get on your computer and go for it!
That’s what I did! :bigsmile:
Its not really that much extra work – but I will admit, IF it were I would probably buy her a book and tell her to get her own hosting
I DO want to help them, I really would like them ALL to live my life. Not only would it help their financial problems, but also it would really show them that I put in alot more hours than they think.
I did help one friend who came out from the near-start and told me what he was doing. I could tell he got ideas from my site but it was obviously re-written enough that I was feeling comftorble that we/him/I would not get banned from SE’s. It worked well for about a 2 months after my constant ‘get optimistic’ messages of “I didn’t make money for the first 7 months” and “think of the future” blah blah blah. After that the whole idea went and although he says it’s more work than he imagined I know he thinks I am hiding ‘the secret’ from him.
I DO however, stop the line when I get asked by someone to just change my affiliate tags for a day to his just so he can get some players under his belt. To go on step further I have also been asked to do a meta-redirect to his site for a day. NO WAY!
2) In the future…DO NOT tell them your business! If you get a new site, don’t tell them about it. Just let them think the money you are making is still from the original site you started. If you have 20 more sites it’s none of their business.
Of course I had to tell everyone the web-address of my first site when I announced my internet career (if they call it that). But to help new sites out I link to the new site from my old site. So when they visit the old site to copy it or get ideas from it, they see links to another site and (I showed them how to do whois searches
) realise i’ve added another website to my slowly growing web-empire.The best part and the part that gives your friends the idea in the first place is that just about any time during our work day/week we can drop everything and do what ever we please.
The BEST part about our work is the one that gives everybody else the idea that we don’t work. What I like to do – and i’m not sure of the effectivness – is to tell them i’ll need 30 or 60 minutes before I can go because i’ve got to finish something off. Usually i’ll just go get myself presentable (dressed and showered) have myself some food and then go. If you’s want to try that idea you can, but as I said I am not sure how effective it is.
In my case I am 6 feet tall and weigh 350lbs. I have a terrible temper and a large gun collection, so luckily my family and “friends” don’t hijack my sites. If they did I would persue them with extreme prejuidice and they know this.
Although I am 6″1′ and 70kg (not sure of conversion constants) Australia law prohibits my ability to have a large gun collection at home.:shooter:
Originally posted by EyesCoffee
I DO however, stop the line when I get asked by someone to just change my affiliate tags for a day to his just so he can get some players under his belt. To go on step further I have also been asked to do a meta-redirect to his site for a day. NO WAY!Geeez . . . that’s really nervy!
Next thing they’ll be asking you to redirect your checks to their bank account!
Originally posted by EyesCoffee
Of course I had to tell everyone the web-address of my first site when I announced my internet career (if they call it that). But to help new sites out I link to the new site from my old site. So when they visit the old site to copy it or get ideas from it, they see links to another site and (I showed them how to do whois searches )I can’t believe they are being so ungrateful when you did your best to be helpful and to do what you could to get them started!
That’s amusing to see that everyone in the Internet Biz seems to have the same type of relations with the offline-working people. At least now I know that I am not alone. I have laughed hard by reading your posts, many thanks for this distractive pause. :bigsmile:
Although I have never been screwed by my “friends” or family (since for them I am losing my time
), that is something I could never accept if one day I experience this situation.I haven’t commented on this thread, but…
I’ve experienced the same thing. The sad thing about it is that I’ve spent literally hours with some people showing them what to do and how to do it in hopes that I might make a little bit of subaffiliate revenue from them.
I’ve made subaffiliate revenue from one person who I helped. And not only did I help this guy set up his entire PPC campaign, I had to go back and rewrite his ads for him and not only help him understand that 7 keywords does not a keyword list make, but I had to give him a keyword list.
I have a whole new attitude about people wanting to learn how to do what I do. I have a website set up with some info and some link, and I point them to it, and tell them to go have fun and get to work.
