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I posted this at GPWA, but wanted to come here… to the community Lou founded… and share my thoughts with all of you as well.
There are many different opinions of Lou Fabiano in this industry. Some saw him as a leader. Some saw him as greedy. Some saw him as a shrewd business man. And others as simply the founder of CAP. The truth of the matter was far more complex than a label. During his time with us, Lou had his qualities and his faults. His good intentions and his bad decisions… just as we all do. And in the end, as we’re witness to, he had his vulnerabilities.
Regardless of our opinions and experiences with Lou, the loss of an industry icon is no less shocking or painful. He was a father, a husband, and a friend to many. He built a successful online gaming community. He stood up for affiliates and players when it was the right thing to do. He voiced his conscience and opinions without shame. And for the few negative things we may remember about him, there were many more positive qualities that only a few got to see. Now, I choose to remember the good.
I tried to call Lou just last week when I heard he was in the hospital. With the death of Allan, I felt it was time everyone put aside the petty differences of the past… but I never got an answer. I wanted to tell him I held no grudge for the differences we had. I wanted to tell him the things we thought were so important simply were not. And that people and relationships mean so much more than making money or running a business. Now, his number — written down on one of my business cards — sits staring at me from my desktop. I am overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow that I didn’t get to say those things to him when I had the chance… when I knew I should have taken the opportunity. I could have been persistent and called back every day until he answered, but I didn’t… and I’m sorry.
I am deeply saddened by the passing of Lou, both as a member of this industry and as a human being. His loss — along with other recent sobering events — has served to remind me of my own mortality, and the limited amount of time each of us have. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow. In the confusion and competitiveness of online gaming, Lou may have lost his way at times. But I believe he always wanted the right things for his family, his friends, and his industry. I hope that in his passing, Lou finally found the peace I believe he so desperately wanted. And that somewhere right now, he is laughing with his best friend, Allan, without the earthly worries, pains, or constraints that burden us all.