Hi More,
I couldn’t help but write.
I have a son … (my only biological child) .. whom has been very special to me.
I couldn’t be prouder of him.
but that said: boys tend to stray from family relationships … especially during their teen and young adult lives. In my case .. my son has so much going on with his school and girlfriend…. there just isn’t time. I understand that but it doesn’t make it any easier for me ….. not getting to see him.
I say this … because i also have 4 step-daughters. judging from relationship the two older ones have with their mother … *they live with boyfriends .. they’re still always here.
What I have gained from this … and knowing the relationship my mother had with her father … (they lived next door to each other always) ..
I suggest that it is your father that has sorely missed out on SO much. Especially judging from what you have written.
as Trips said .. there is little we can do to ease your pain. But you are obviously a loving, caring person and I think it likely your void will be filled at some point in your life … by a mate ….. perhaps Trips? And I also offer my friendship and am willing to talk anytime. just PM me …we can exchange numbers.
I just can’t imagine you’re not going to find a relationship that will help fill this void .. which although may never be completely able … will still be sufficient to help you thru the hard times.
I think you have already found caring people here. Reach out. Give it a chance. Again …. I wish I could ease your pain. I too … am somewhat estranged from my father. We just can’t seem to find common ground. I’m lucky that i know he loves me in his own way. And vice-versa. But we just can’t seem to find the kind of relationship i’d prefer. Frankly I’ve sort of given up and accepted what it there.
but its a shame. So I understand to an extent your pain. I don’t know your age but i think some of the problem … or at least blame things … on the era when my father (perhaps yours too) .. were raised.
They just never learned how to reach out. Don’t let that be your ….. mistake too. No .. we’re none of us here blood. but there are many caring people at CAP and other forums that you could explore.
I hope I have not offended nor given bad advice. I can only share my experiences and hope maybe some of what I said.. helps.
I know the hurt. I feel the frustration because I know my time with my father is very limited now. I’d so like to find common ground. To his credit … he tries in his own way .. but we are so different (he’s all about making money.. I’m about making enough money to live life and see my loved ones happy). there is a difference.
Well God bless … and remember he’s also your father. call on him. If you don’t believe …. then don’t worry. He believes in you. Just give a chance and talk to him. see if it doesn’t make a difference in a few weeks. I think you’ll find a serenity you never expected.