Yes, it seems that links are everything. It’s a good old popularity contest.
I have to admit I put it off and dread doing it because of all the reasons above. It’s even worse when reciprocals are devalued like they are these days, and paid links are frowned upon / devalued too. So what is one supposed to do? Like someone above said, it’s a game we must be prepared to play if we want love from Google.