@TheBoyMitchell 178894 wrote:
Done loads, all in the name of football (the real *soccer* type)!
But my best story is the time when a player thought I fouled him and he jumped up. Instead of punching me – he just straight finger jabbed me in the eye, detaching the retina and making me blind. Dodgy enough, but I got taken to a specialist eye hospital in London and after 2 days they operated.
Done under a local (!) the process involved clamping my eye open and making 3 incisions into the eyeball, one for a drain, one for a camera and one for a ‘laserrrr’. They suck out all the jelly in the eye, laser the retina back on to the back of the eye, and then inflate it with air and stitch it up. I was awake for all 5 hours of it.
Having a series of injections in your eyeball is possibly the most painful thing I have endured, and the smell of the laser burning into your head is interesting to say the least….
Anyway, 5 hours later, my eye is reinflated and I have 9 stitches in the eyeball. I then had to lie on my side for 20 out of 24 hours a day for 10 days (!), as your body produces tears which fill the eye and replace the air, and in time replace the jelly they sucked out so you can see again. if you move about then you run the risk of washing out the stitches and your eye collapses
Clever things, eyes.
Holy shit
I actually wanted to vomite when I read this.. That’s kinda gross man.. But I think you win…
I’m a clumsy fucker..
Playing football (the real football) a couple of weeks ago I managed to hit myself in the hip bone after the game had finished, with my watch, and the bruise is still there..
I am the clumsiest person on the face of the planet I think… no shit on that either… I would be trumps on clumsiness.