As Promised! Here is one of my stories!!
Kids Say The Funniest Things:
It was Christmas time, my son was about 4, and we were in Walmart. Very crowded at Christmas time you couldn’t even move there were so many people everywhere.
I had taken my son to shop for his father, grandparents and sister for Christmas. We were in the toy isle, and there were literally probably 40 people around us elbow to elbow. We were making general conversation and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
Below is the conversation that took place. Please keep in mind this is a 4 year old who doesn’t know how to speak in a normal tone so this entire conversation was him talking at the top of his voice practically screaming.
Son: Well mom I don’t know what I want for Christmas but I think that I need a new wee-wee.
People around giggling
Me: Um son, can you please keep it down! We can talk about this in the car.
Son: But mom really I need a new wee-wee.
(picture him yelling almost crying here)
Me: Okay son why do you think that you need a new wee wee (whispering as quietly as I can)
Son: Because when I play with it, it gets BIG.
Me: Trying so hard not to laugh and run out of the store, I say to him “Son, you don’t need a new wee wee, that is normal really your wee wee is fine, but let’s talk about this when we get home, and I’ll have your dad explain it better to you.
Son: With the most amazed shock look, he says as loud as he can “MOM YOU MEAN DADDY PLAYS WITH HIS WEE WEE TOO”
Now at this time I turned about 500 shades of red, and everyone within 2 isles on either side of us had come to our isle to see who had said this, and literally everyone was laughing so hard.
I was able to distract him, with a toy as people laughed around us for at least the next 15 minutes.
I make my way eventually to the check out isle and as I’m standing in line the lady in front of us says to her husband. “There’s that kid I told you about” And they both looked at me and him and busted out laughing.