A guy I used to work with on a construction site told me this story, and knowing how mental he is I believe him:
Group of lads from Manchester head to Teneriefe for a two week holiday. First day of the holiday, as they are inclined to do they hit the bar hard and start an all day drinking binge.
Around 8 o’clock in the evening, one of the guys passes out from too much beer, so they pick him up and bring him back the apartment. While their back in the apartment they strip him and throw him onto his bed.
Being the evil b$stards they are, they then proceed to unroll a condom onto a pencil and melt down a chocloate bar they had in the fridge. Using the pencil they dip the condom in the melted chocolate and push the condom between the cheeks of his arse, they then take the rest of the chocolate and smear it on the bed sheets and on his arse.
They then leave him there and head onto the nightclub.
Next morning, everyone is having breakfast the guy who passed out shuffles into the kitchen. Acting like nohing had happened, he asks quietly, “so, eh, what happened to me last night, I don’t remember leaving the pub”?
One of the lads replied, “eh, remember those two guys who looked a bit gay standing at the bar?, well you went up to get a drink, started talking to them and disappeared. We just assumed you’d had enough to drink and gone home”.
He replies, “yeah, thats what i must have done”.
For the rest of the holiday, nobody says anything to him about it, if any of the lads touched his leg or made a gay joke he would be really pissed off, if he ever saw anyone in the bar who looked gay, he would say this place is shit, let go somewhere else.
So the last day of the holiday, they are sitting on the airplane and the stewardesses are getting ready to do the safety demonstration, the victim is sitting about three rows ahead of the rest of his mates.
One of his mates, hands him a bottle of whsikey with a note attached saying “It was us that shoved the condom up your arse, it wasn’t sh1t it was chocloate, thanks for the best holiday ever!”.
The victim reads the note, then stands up turns around and screams “YOU ABSOLUTE B$STARDS”! sits down and spends the rest of the flight drinking the whisky.
They are all still friends to this day!