It was mostly the way the server was initially set up by an under qualified tech who quit then the leasing company guys of my dedicated server took over and I think it was more incompetence than anything.
Anyone who has seen their server go down will know what I felt…your whole business just disappeared! 
Now everything is done “properly” the nightmare won’t happen again and I am up for just a few hours maintenance/update fees a month. Tony (my IT mate) offered me a bunch of solutions and options, explained them well to me (I don’t understand much backend stuff) and detailed thoroughly everything undertaken which was really impressive. We have become pretty good mates, as well as sharing a love of Delicas I have learn’t a lot of stuff and can’t recommend him highly enough. I know he undercharged me for a lot of stuff. 