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Well…
In the past I have:
broken my wrist and dislocated both my shoulders playing rugby,
permanently over-extended the tendons in my ankles playing basketball,
ruptured my achillies whilst running
concussed from the High Jump
dislocated my little finger and broke it playing footie.
Think my body has spent years telling me things that I’ve refused to listen to.
I should get a library card!
Done loads, all in the name of football (the real *soccer* type)!
But my best story is the time when a player thought I fouled him and he jumped up. Instead of punching me – he just straight finger jabbed me in the eye, detaching the retina and making me blind. Dodgy enough, but I got taken to a specialist eye hospital in London and after 2 days they operated.
Done under a local (!) the process involved clamping my eye open and making 3 incisions into the eyeball, one for a drain, one for a camera and one for a ‘laserrrr’. They suck out all the jelly in the eye, laser the retina back on to the back of the eye, and then inflate it with air and stitch it up. I was awake for all 5 hours of it.
Having a series of injections in your eyeball is possibly the most painful thing I have endured, and the smell of the laser burning into your head is interesting to say the least….
Anyway, 5 hours later, my eye is reinflated and I have 9 stitches in the eyeball. I then had to lie on my side for 20 out of 24 hours a day for 10 days (!), as your body produces tears which fill the eye and replace the air, and in time replace the jelly they sucked out so you can see again. if you move about then you run the risk of washing out the stitches and your eye collapses
Clever things, eyes.
Cant top the eye piece story I am affraid but I have had a few injuries in my time playing Lacrosse.
– Torn ankle ligaments
– Broken fingers on many occasions
– Sprained neck
– Cracked patella – kept playing for 2 weeks without knowing the extent of the damage
– Ripped off fingernail and toe nail – thank god for selotape!
– I once had an awesome bruise which cover the whole of my arm from elbow to shoulder, that was impressive!I lost 2 knuckles also on my right hand while…errr….boxing (one has since returned but is slightly foooked!) I gave up my career in ‘boxing’ with a 100% record, 2 for 0 :chearlead
Broke my collar bone years back taking a dog for a walk (run) too. :roflmao:
Hodgeyboy, you missed out the injuries suffered while running the buffet gauntlet…
I have had not much to speak of, besides a broken nose during a rugby match, a dislocated toe whilst playing football (very painful btw) and a fair few bruises from thai boxing.
I also ran in to a tree which is the cause of the scar across my forehead, incidentally Beaconator, whilst chasing my dog to a stick.
Martyn;178899 wrote:I gave up my career in ‘boxing’ with a 100% record, 2 for 0Nice one Marty, you can give Eric some pointers! :roflmao:
What…, you don’t believe he could have taken that dude?
@HodgeyBoy 178904 wrote:
Nice one Marty, you can give Eric some pointers! :roflmao:
What…, you don’t believe he could have taken that dude?
Look at c’ya…givin it all dat! :beatup:
P.S. I dont condone ‘boxing’ in any way shape or form, but if a guy is hitting on your wife the gloves come out. :wink-wink
Nice injuries and mine a quite lame in comparison
– chipped bone in the ankle
– tight hamstrings (I can not run at the moment and I am like a lego man)Oh I forgot to mention the bit of bone i just had removed from my left knee. It was growing from my knee cap into my patella tendon and is the reason why I am such a fatty!
Amazing something so small and render you turd at running for 2 years, second op too!
In sport those awards are thanks for participating awards or most valuable player
You should have sued that guy with the finger jab! Bastard…I hate ppl like that.
My worst one, and I’ve broken pretty much everything playing “real” football, was my collar bone (2nd time). I’d scored the perfect hat-trick (left foot, right foot, header) for the one and only time in my “career” and added one with my knee for good luck, was bearing down on goal for #5 when I tripped on a clod of earth and landed on my shoulder – snap. Anyone ever had a collar bone go? Agony LOL. Gave everyone else a laugh though.
@Jamie 178971 wrote:
In sport those awards are thanks for participating awards or most valuable player
Had those as well, sod hodgeyboys medal I have been in the Manchester Evening News with the headline in bold of Beacon Shines.
No medals required my ego is big enough! :hattip:
Simmo, I have done my collar bone what a b!tch that is. I had a 30 minute car journey to the hospital and felt every single bump in the road in that one place! I feel your pain.
@TheBoyMitchell 178894 wrote:
Done loads, all in the name of football (the real *soccer* type)!
But my best story is the time when a player thought I fouled him and he jumped up. Instead of punching me – he just straight finger jabbed me in the eye, detaching the retina and making me blind. Dodgy enough, but I got taken to a specialist eye hospital in London and after 2 days they operated.
Done under a local (!) the process involved clamping my eye open and making 3 incisions into the eyeball, one for a drain, one for a camera and one for a ‘laserrrr’. They suck out all the jelly in the eye, laser the retina back on to the back of the eye, and then inflate it with air and stitch it up. I was awake for all 5 hours of it.
Having a series of injections in your eyeball is possibly the most painful thing I have endured, and the smell of the laser burning into your head is interesting to say the least….
Anyway, 5 hours later, my eye is reinflated and I have 9 stitches in the eyeball. I then had to lie on my side for 20 out of 24 hours a day for 10 days (!), as your body produces tears which fill the eye and replace the air, and in time replace the jelly they sucked out so you can see again. if you move about then you run the risk of washing out the stitches and your eye collapses
Clever things, eyes.
Holy shit
I actually wanted to vomite when I read this.. That’s kinda gross man.. But I think you win…
I’m a clumsy fucker..
Playing football (the real football) a couple of weeks ago I managed to hit myself in the hip bone after the game had finished, with my watch, and the bruise is still there..
I am the clumsiest person on the face of the planet I think… no shit on that either… I would be trumps on clumsiness.Jeez, BoyMitchell – you’re story is horrendous.
I’m a big fan of those stories about professional players who end up getting injured in ridiculous ways. Right now, Sunderland midfielder Liam Lawrence is out because he tripped over his dog. And remember the player (Dave Beasant, I think) that injured himself with a jar of mayonnaise ! Classic
