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  1. #21
    Senior Member casinobonusguy's Avatar
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    Ok maybe you will laugh -maybe not .About Seven years ago , my friend was dating a guy who has his own show on fan590 in Toronto .It is a sports show and was in football season.She had no interest in sports but to be a good girlfriend and show her support of her new beau she would listen faithfully to 3 hours of sports talk.
    About 2 months of dating ,she was finally invited to a big radio show event and her boyfriend told her he will introduce her to all the people he worked with.We were also invited to the party and we are driving downtown ,almost to the 'skydome' as it was called back then when she asked Mike,her boyfriend "will Linus be there tonight ?That guy must really be famous because i hear all of you guys talking about him.
    Mike has a blank look and says nobody named linus works there -she was talking LINE OF SCIMMAGE ,he thought his name was Linus Scimmage .You had to be there but even now it still makes me chuckle.It didnt work out but he still talks about it on His show
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  3. #22
    Senior Member Simmo!'s Avatar
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    Oh and a tip to round off:

    Never go down water rapids backwards, with loose fitting trunks and your legs in the air, especially when it goes under a viewing gallery. Turns out it's a most undignified way to travel.

    PS. That's not an entry into this contest. Because it never happened. OK?
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    fintan (05-29-2008), Triple777s (05-16-2008)

  5. #23
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    Oh that is SO an entry into the contest.. LOL!!!
  6. #24
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    A guy I used to work with on a construction site told me this story, and knowing how mental he is I believe him:

    Group of lads from Manchester head to Teneriefe for a two week holiday. First day of the holiday, as they are inclined to do they hit the bar hard and start an all day drinking binge.

    Around 8 o'clock in the evening, one of the guys passes out from too much beer, so they pick him up and bring him back the apartment. While their back in the apartment they strip him and throw him onto his bed.

    Being the evil b$stards they are, they then proceed to unroll a condom onto a pencil and melt down a chocloate bar they had in the fridge. Using the pencil they dip the condom in the melted chocolate and push the condom between the cheeks of his arse, they then take the rest of the chocolate and smear it on the bed sheets and on his arse.

    They then leave him there and head onto the nightclub.

    Next morning, everyone is having breakfast the guy who passed out shuffles into the kitchen. Acting like nohing had happened, he asks quietly, "so, eh, what happened to me last night, I don't remember leaving the pub"?

    One of the lads replied, "eh, remember those two guys who looked a bit gay standing at the bar?, well you went up to get a drink, started talking to them and disappeared. We just assumed you'd had enough to drink and gone home".

    He replies, "yeah, thats what i must have done".

    For the rest of the holiday, nobody says anything to him about it, if any of the lads touched his leg or made a gay joke he would be really pissed off, if he ever saw anyone in the bar who looked gay, he would say this place is ****, let go somewhere else.

    So the last day of the holiday, they are sitting on the airplane and the stewardesses are getting ready to do the safety demonstration, the victim is sitting about three rows ahead of the rest of his mates.

    One of his mates, hands him a bottle of whsikey with a note attached saying "It was us that shoved the condom up your arse, it wasn't sh1t it was chocloate, thanks for the best holiday ever!".

    The victim reads the note, then stands up turns around and screams "YOU ABSOLUTE B$STARDS"! sits down and spends the rest of the flight drinking the whisky.

    They are all still friends to this day!
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    Professor (05-16-2008), topboss (05-19-2008), Triple777s (05-16-2008)

  8. #25
    Senior Member ixian's Avatar
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    funny To much effort

    I decided to join my local gym to get rid of the barrel that was starting to take shape above my belt. The instructor showed me around the place and showed me how to use the equipment correctly.

    All was going well and I was building up a good sweat. We got to that little bench thing that you lie on and put your legs through so that you are stable for doing stomach crunches.

    I lay down in position to do the stomach crunches and my instructor said "Three sets of twelve". "Geez!" I said, and did my first crunch. It was such an effort that I let rip with a very short but very audible fart - "Phrrrrrp!"

    My instructor shouted "Geez!" and joined me in laughing myself sick. I was very embarrassed.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
    Isaac Asimov

    OnlineCasinoplex - for the best UK online casinos.
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  10. #26
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    Fintan thats a great story!!!

    Ixian thats brilliant also!
  11. #27
    Senior Member topboss's Avatar
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    About 20 or so years ago - being a newly wed I couldn't keep my hands off my husband and took every opportunity to grab his butt, hold his hand etc. Well one day we were at our local shopping centre and I had to nip into some shop and he into another so he suggested we meet up at the cigarette counter 10 mins later. I do what I have to and then head off to the cigarette counter and see my husband standing at the counter so I sidle up behind him and start fondling his butt and kissing his ear lobes ( of course being young and in love - there was no embarressment about doing this in public )
    At that moment I heard a sound behind me and I turned to look - only to see my husband leaning against the sweet counter staring at me and laughing his head off.
    Needless to say I had disappeared by the time the guy at the cigarette counter had turned around!!!!!
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